


Just Another Bird

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-30
Updated: 2006-06-30
Packaged: 2019-01-19 02:08:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12400917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: And what have I done to turn him off. Am I too quiet? Am I too down to earth? Do I not swear enough? Am I too small? Am I too mature? For the love of God, is my hair too curly?I don’t want to lose him. I can’t lose him–I fear I’d lose part of myself as well.  ...





	Just Another Bird

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

Disclaimer: This story really holds no Harry Potter plot at all. So there really doesn't need to be a disclaimer... just some random thoughts of my own.

A/N: Venting sorta? Trying to analyze things? Be what it is... please review. And any hindsight you have... I'm sure the person in the story would LOVE the help.

 gracias.

 

And for all you who are awaiting my other works... I have partical chapters written, but I'm headin to Spain for a month to study Spanish... so I won't be doing much English... sry. I'll try if I have any down time.

 Cheers... and please do review. Thanks.

 ____

 

I did it again, I know I did. He was right there, showing me the signs I've been praying for. The soft looks, the touching of my shoulder, elbow, the grand smile that was thrown only my way. He talked to me in the passing hallway. He made a point to say his good mornings, good days, good evenings, and good nights to me. He told me he'd always be there for me to talk to, no matter the circumstances. 

But I ruined it. Somehow. I couldn't quite tell you exactly when I noticed it all falling apart. His looks were the same to a point, but he seemed too tired to bother with me. He wasn't brash about it, but so gentle that he left my insides burning with hatred at my useless abilities to flirt; to open my mouth and sprout out something interesting, something funny. 

Something that made him laugh and hoping for more. 

I've never been good at showing men my feelings. I don't want to be caught mooning over some guy only to have them look at me in disgust. I don't want him to know that I like him before I know that he likes me. I don't want to be turned down, embarrassed, led astray. I don't want to be taken advantage of, yet I want him to corner me and kiss me senseless. 'Til my knees are weak and he has to wrap his strong arms around my waist, to hold me up, keep me close to him. 

My own insecurities are pushing me away from the one thing that I long for the most: true, undeniable love. Not lust, not some angsty sap. I need him to want me for who I am. For my intellectual conversations. My witty comebacks and remarks. And yes, for my ordinary beauty that I radiate every day. Especially when I'm sweaty from running.

"You live for activity." He said. "I'm quite comfortable with passivity." I laughed at him. 

Opposites attract. 

But I'm not sure I'm looking for true love in him. I want the deepest, purest form of friendship that can be possessed through a man and a woman. I want him to tease me and I stab back with a quick tongue. I want him to call on me, to walk with me, to tell me his troubles so that I can fix them.

I know there will never be anything romantic between us. I mean, he's at least a foot and a few inches taller than me. He's a musician and I can barely tinker out on the piano. He's carefree imidiately, I take a while to trust before I open up, He has tons of friends, I have many acquaintances and a handful of best friends.

A lot of his friends are girls. Is it common for me to not want him to talk to those girls, to smile when he sees them, to hug them?

I'm one of those girls, but I can't part with my friend, my companion, my chum.

The one who cares about **_me_**.

Is it wrong for me to want him as more when I know it isn't possible at all?

And what have I done to turn him off. Am I too quiet? Am I too down to earth? Do I not swear enough? Am I too small? Am I too mature? For the love of God, is my hair too _**curly**_?

I don't want to lose him. I can't lose him--I fear I'd lose part of myself as well. 

 

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 Got any comments?  



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